"Highway to Hell"

You know, there are just so many ways to die. So many ways. Start naming a few and you’ll come across loads. I tried one. I had almost succeeded. But, “thanks” to mum, I came back. But, the excitement has hit me hard on my butt. I wanna experience it all. I wanna know what lies on the other side.
You might probably think why I am getting so suicidal suddenly. Well, given what I have to go through at home, anyone would. There’s no love out here. All hatred and spite…there’s no one to look up to. And if you think of asking me about my “Mommy”, let’s just say she hardly cares as to what’s going right or wrong with me. She’s busy with her life, and I do not blame her. Any sane person would be. Come on now, she’s about to start college. Why shouldn’t she be bothered about her life and self? Who am I to her? Just who? I know, just another guy. Look, it would hardly make a difference to you or anyone as to what am doing with this life or if am just dumping it down the drain. True that I am missing talking to mommy, the fights and good stuff and everything, but why should I blame her? If she doesn’t want to talk to me because it would hamper her studies and mind, then she’s got full right not to. I don’t mind (it hardly makes a difference, anyway, even if I do mind.)
I have tried hanging myself. I have tried slashing my wrist. The latter’s more painful. I have been run down on the road. It’s painful. I have been kicked hard on my balls during soccer. It hurts. I have been stomped on my face with football spikes; I have been thrashed around by my dad. But you know what the problem is? I never died. I just never did. Dunno why. May be somewhere down the line, I am destined to live. Frankly, I don’t know if I believe in destiny. But all I know is where other’s would have I died, I have lived. You know, this chick called Death (oh my! Am I getting horny? Guess I am…she’s just too hot!)…well, I guess she’s in love with me. She’s tried so many times to get me…umm; I guess it ain’t wrong to love someone and wanting to be with that person…then what’s wrong if she wants me? Don’t worry, I won’t die a virgin. Quoting Kurt (ah! My hero! Death at 27, drug overdose and a bullet in the head.),” No one dies a virgin. Life fucks us all.” And neither would I. come on, I’ll get to fuck Death then! Woo! I just can’t wait for it! But do I love her? I don’t know. But, if I wanna live on, then, will I be happy?
You know, my dad once asked me, “What’s your aim in life?” I knew a huge lecture on studies and IIT was coming up. I, honestly replied, “Being happy.” Of course, I was taken to task for speaking “paka paka jinish” (over smart stuff) but I don’t get it. Don’t all of us wanna be happy???
Well, I guess you must be wondering what my point is. What am I trying to say? Let’s put it this way. Am just typing down random stuff that’s coming to my mind…a hurt mind…badly hurt…don’t ask why…as usual, a fight for a stupid reason. And yes, I have been barred from food inside this house. Good, ain’t it? Yeah, laugh on, laugh on, I won’t mind…
You know, what the problem is? It’s simple. The world, this world, is too cruel, especially to people like me, who simply refuse to give in to something illogical and actually question the saneness of human civilization and rebel against the System…more on system later…if you are a rebel, you’ll understand what am talking about…or if u ain’t, am sure there are many around you like me, who challenges the CEO of this world. Ask them if my words are true or not.